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Wow, that really sucked

  • Dec. 29th, 2004 at 8:12 PM
Coldwin

Ok I got Issue 11, just to complete the set.


I have to say I am VERY much relived this is the last issue.


If the future issues were going to be of such poor quality bury Voltron now, and put some KY in
the coffin for the ass raping he received in 10 and 11.


The story was, well to be frank there was no story. Most of the book was the Voltron force
deciding what to do while taking a break to make pot shot at VV. "Voltron Junior".


I'd love to, as is my usual style, go into an eloquent review explaining why in detail the lack of
story of this comic sucked so bad but there are only so many ways one can say bull shit smells.


Instead I will take you on visual tour.


*NOTE* Remember no matter how the stuff below sucks the writing wasn't even worth
mocking!!!!!


Now we will start with a role call.


Keith and Lance of the Voltron Afro Force!






Pidge Potter! Computer Genius and Quiddich Champ!





The Incredible Hunk! You wont like him when he's hungry!





And of course, last but not least, the force is with her and so are we!
Princess Allureia!





Rounding out the Voltron cast is an old friend. The one, the only, the
great, King Alfor Lazy-Eye





Now that we know every body I'll tell you a little about them.


First of all I have to warn you that Allura has had an unfortunate accident
with a door. It seems she ran into it and it flattened out her face.






If you mention it she'll throw a fit, and boy does she have a BIG mouth






Well maybe a new hair cut and a rugged manly physique will improve her self image!





She's not the only one with problems though.


Lance was devastated to find he was losing his hair.





At first he was just sad.






Then he turned to drugs, seeking to become more 'mellow'


</p>



Then he ran out of money so turned to his friend Harry, er I mean Pidge for some quick cash





When Pidge refused to help enable his habit he, well the picture speaks for it's self.





Keith on the other hand has ran afoul of a hair spraying robeast!






Not even Allura could say it was ok with a straight face






Keith was mad! (And stupid looking)





He'd put her in her place. Notice the swollen lip?






They all made up though. Maybe it's cause they all walked into that face flattening door.






As a final note, a girl in a dissolving outfit can only do so much to save a crappy story.
Especially if she's constipated.






Comments

[info]hiroeb wrote:
Dec. 30th, 2004 03:13 am (UTC)
Oh sweet Lord, the art is so bad!

My eyes burn.

My brain burns.

Whoever drew this issue should burn.

My sixteen year-old sister could draw a better looking issue. It seems like the people working on this comic just stopped caring all together at the end.
[info]slinkyavenger wrote:
Dec. 30th, 2004 04:31 am (UTC)
Mother of god what an abomination. Sorry that your show got raped. I know how it feels!

Let us weep together.

Weep.
[info]coldwin wrote:
Dec. 30th, 2004 04:34 am (UTC)
I bet you didn't know a giant robot could taake it sofar up the ass!

I know I didn't
[info]slinkyavenger wrote:
Dec. 30th, 2004 06:07 am (UTC)
A friend of mine in college used to lovingly call me 'Frying-Pan Face', but I never thought I'd see it embodied in professional artwork.
[info]otakushan wrote:
Dec. 30th, 2004 01:16 pm (UTC)
I weep for what has become of Voltron. But I'll still buy the issue today. Fortunately I get 10% off at my comic shop.
[info]cheezey wrote:
Dec. 30th, 2004 01:22 pm (UTC)
The sad part is, you're still going to get ripped off to the tune of $2.70.

Ah well, at least you'll have the complete collection including the issues that didn't suck!
[info]otakushan wrote:
Dec. 30th, 2004 01:42 pm (UTC)
Well, I look at it this way, I used a gift certificate for the first three issues, so saved 2.95 each right there, and then add 10% off every issue, I think it balances out.
(Anonymous) wrote:
Jan. 1st, 2005 05:52 am (UTC)
Funny commentary, Coldwin. You are right about the artwork. What's with the headband on Lance? He looks like my son when I jokingly put his sister's headband in his hair.(He's a toddler-so he laughed.) I'll probably get the issue anyway but wow! You gave me a good laugh!

Zariel
[info]viceroythrok wrote:
Jan. 1st, 2005 07:57 am (UTC)
This is sickening... I feel like these characters were violated.

This was a rush job and apparently DDP really didn't care about the outcome. You would think that they would have made it look professional. I have more contempt for these people now more than ever.
[info]cheezey wrote:
Jan. 1st, 2005 03:11 pm (UTC)
Yeah, my opinion couldn't get much lower at this point, either. I remember saying a couple months back that I hoped they wouldn't make the same mistakes Wildstorm did with Thundercats, yet they did exactly that. The lack of professionalism from both the artists and the writers just stinks like a steaming pile of robeast excrement.
[info]purrsia wrote:
Jan. 1st, 2005 05:58 pm (UTC)
I dunno...
...whether to laugh or cry. Hell, Keith looks like Keith alright. Keith Richards! @_x

What you all need to do is put some steamy dog shit into the bag they sold you that comic in, and then leave it on the artists' doorstep. This way the giving of crap goes full circle.
It's frightening, but I dare some some of my craptacular fan art is better than this slop. And that's saying something.

I have more to say about the story aspect of it in cheezey's LJ, seems how her review dealt more with that. Anyway, I'm going to save myself about $3 and skip this last-minute crap fest. Thanks for the warning!

--Purrsia

[info]ex_radric52 wrote:
Jan. 2nd, 2005 04:59 am (UTC)
Marie: I will write TEH BEST ALLURA STORY EVAR!

fandom: you suck!

Marie: **whimpers** I do not! Someone coddle me!

fanbois: Um... we'll try....

Marie: I AM GREAT!

publishers: comic cancelled
[info]hevia wrote:
Jan. 3rd, 2005 06:05 am (UTC)
Whoa o_O
I had gotten some of the earlier issues for my sis for Christmas (she sent me the link to this). Damn, but did it go downhill fast! The art is weird - some of doesn't look too bad and some of it is simply beyond salvation. How many artists did they have working on this??

Keith's robeast-molested hair is also beyond salvation.